baby i love you and the morning do
a little smile on my lips and the taste of you

here is something honest

i feel...

vulnerable
uncomfortable
insecure

these days.

after talking to my close friends, i realize i am not alone. what is it about this time in our lives? is it 26? i don't remember 24 feeling like this. transitions, the pull inside that wants both stability of commitment (one place, one job, one love) and the freedom to come and go as i please. deciding one moment i want all, and the next none of these... how to make a positive contribution to the world in some way, while surviving, while thriving. i could go on and analyze it, i have. but something new to try....

it's ok that i feel this way now. that's all.

devil

i am sorry for what has been done to you
in seeking a fraction of the feeling
of what you simply are

they call you devil
because they fear god
you are rundown in every sense
why trust me now?

run free, if you choose to
stand with me, if you choose to
but choose me for love
not fear, not avoidance of pain

i refuse
to kick your protruding ribs
to slap your bony ass
your actions mirror my insecurities
and show me what work must be done

great teacher
take this journey with me
let us build strength together
carry me and i will spread my wings

hearts like eyes open to the skies above
grounded in eternal love
trust again

*

find me suspended forever in time where fear and love collide.

conserve

most sticky saturdays
i'd be alongside lemon inspired entrepreneurs
garden hose waving
saturating whatever had the will to grow
and drowning worms with the excess

now i know that is irresponsible.

this is not a parade for unity or independence
i've nothing left to fill your pockets
and my teeth are rotting in my own sweetness

when did i become so cautious?


as if love is something that i can
run out of

good move

i made a good decision. i don't think any decision i have ever made has ever felt so right. it is one of those things where i just know i am where i am supposed to be right now. even though we are always where we are supposed to be and the only place we can be in at any one moment... it is becoming increasingly clear to me that i knew this was what i wanted all along. i don't know why i was so afraid to take the leap sooner. last summer i sat with meghan and claire at collegetown bagels here in town and voiced my intentions. today i sit in my apartment here and live them. this morning everything stopped spinning and i woke up ready to tackle some of the deeper ambitions on my list of summer daydreams. i love this.

bubble wonder

today while i was babysitting we got out the bubble wand and i took a series of photos. later i noticed what i thought to be green and blue orbs in several of them. i consulted a photo wizard and in his expert opinion they totally could be orbs, but could also be lens flare. i believe them to be orbs, and if you met this child, you would understand why they would be drawn to him. he is spilling over with pure childhood curiosity, wonder and bliss. this is my favorite shot.