Tuesday, December 28, 2010


in telling the story of who i am
i sometimes forget parts

thank you friends and family
for reminding me what i forgot
showing me how i've grown
and not asking me to tell it again

Saturday, December 25, 2010

it's christmas day

and i am onto new year's plans
i'm not even in my christmas sweater yet
or at my uncle's house
feeling scratchy and sweaty and eating things wrapped in bacon
that will happen later

but i am on to new year's plans
and the way i'll feel once i execute them

i am thinking of the yoga classes i will take
that will stretch out my aching body
and make my eyes shine glossy bright

and the scarves i will knit
the kind that you don't wrap, but drape and loop and coil
maybe with a button, or a pocket
with soft soft wool, and many different colors
all on one scarf
the kind of scarf that will stop the trendy girls in the street
and make them dote on me

i am thinking about the horses
i am always thinking about the horses

Saturday, November 20, 2010


he is beautiful (like spinner)
like someone painted all the brown hairs black
and just left the white alone

or maybe that is just what i want to see

after almost 2 years
i can't talk about him without hiding
when someone asks and listens with their heart

if i take this chance

i may love
i may learn
i may lose

a lot

my heart was set the moment i saw him

Friday, November 19, 2010

coty dreams

i don't know what he dreams about
his paws twitch
he barks, muffled barks, that must sound very loud in his dream
maybe he is at the dog park
maybe he is in a pack of wild dogs
maybe he is chasing leo

yesterday i had a biofeedback session and cleanse
i felt the vibrations in my body and organs and muscles
i got tired
my biocleanse water turned orange with black flecks
that means purification of joints and metals
my joints have been cracking a lot
i have been stiff
and stifled

they talked about parasites
i don't know if they meant energy parasites or actual parasites

last night i had a dream
i was pulling ticks off zoe
a lot of them
big fat corn ticks
as i pulled them off they began to turn into fat pink slug-like ticks
i found a way to slide them off gently
all of them

maybe something was cleansed/released/transformed/pushed

Sunday, November 14, 2010

dream bullets

*meeting ani difranco who used to be a speech pathologist at eugene hearing and speech
*drinking the sweetest milk i ever drank local and hormone free with blueberries floating in it and eating meatless sausage that i thought was real meat

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

if i could make one wish for the world
it would be world peace
and zoe louise forever.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

things i want to learn

how to calm a horse with my energy

how to calm myself
diligence with my 'vegetarian' diet
to be true

i am here and i am ready

Friday, October 1, 2010

from zayneb and the alchemist

which i have not read, but must!

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

“Every second of the search is an encounter with God,” the boy told his heart.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Saturday, September 4, 2010

slow leo

i thought he was going to learn to be potty trained in a corner of my house.
i thought he was going to learn the sound of my voice and come crawling over to me.
i thought we were going to be the stars of the park.

the reality is:

he peed on me.
he hisses at me.
he is so cute.

he is the closest thing i have ever seen to a dinosaur.
coty loves him.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

my dream is not a dream

i am moving for the sixth consecutive summer in a row. (how do i still have so much stuff?) i like to spend springtime searching craigslist for a new apartment. and new furniture. and a new job. and maybe just maybe a new dog. and a new barn. and so today i found this, in eugene, oregon. this woman has manifested a longtime dream of mine. and i can't wait to get out there and meet her. maybe it is time i stick around just a little longer in one place and *see*what*happens*

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

buzz buzz

instead of getting interested
i'll drink coffee
busy bees outside my window
inspire a career change

this will have to do for now

Sunday, April 25, 2010

we are so busy trying to sell each other stuff
we have forgotten how to live
or why

Monday, April 19, 2010

you are not the biggest or the brightest star
you are my sun

Monday, March 29, 2010

we are almost 80 percent water
and corporations are buying it all
and selling it back to us in plastic bottles

how can they buy and sell what we are made of?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

my dad's chin

is a strawberry butt.

i miss him.

Monday, March 1, 2010

why don't people know what to do?

the way my cat knows what to do
or a bird
or a bear
or a whale
or an elephant

they do what they do
because it is all they can do
and they do it so well

the wild ones know
and they will fly or swim or walk
thousands of miles
because that is where they are going

and now i am doing what i do
is this what i do?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

lead with your heart

yoga class tonight
hip openers like floodgates
inversions let the weight from my chest
spill out my head and onto the mat
one breath flows into one breath flows
i hold mine
for the fear that i won't have enough
for what is next

Saturday, January 23, 2010

i trust people because i want to
not because i do

i see the good in people because i do

Friday, January 22, 2010

the birds they sang
at the break of day
start again
I heard them say
don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.
ah the wars they will
be fought again
the holy dove
she will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.

ring the bells that still can ring
forget your perfect offering
there is a crack in everything
that's how the light gets in.

sweet sweet words of leonard cohen

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

-Marianne Williamson